The Short Vort by Rabbi Eisenman

It all began with a text message from Rabbi Zvi Lampel. His daughter and son-in-law were now proud parents as they had a baby boy. I quickly contacted my good friend and Rebbe, HaRav Yaakov Bender, the newborn's great-grandfather.

"Rebbe, I hear you will be davening with us this Shabbos." I implored Rav Bender to speak before Mussaf. Thankfully he agreed, and the excitement set in.

Having a major Rosh Yeshiva speak in Shul is not a weekly occurrence.  After bringing the Sefer Torah back to the Aron, I approached the pulpit to introduce Rav Bender. The Shul was standing room only.  There were people from across the Passaic/Clifton community spectrum. Men were in the aisles and by the bookcases, cramming every available space. As soon as Shul ended, Rav Bender was swamped by Talmidim and those seeking eitzos and Brochus.

At the Kiddush, there was a constant flow of men and women, each vying to get a Brocha, ask a question, or submit a name for a Refuah Sheleima. As amazed as I was at Rav Bender's perpetual smile and composure, I was blown away by his patience. Even after Kiddush was long over, Rav Bender remained to speak to both men and women.

When Shabbos ended, I felt proud as we were honored by this special spiritually uplifting Shabbos. As one of Baale Batim said, "Rabbi, this week the Ahavas reached a new level in Kedusha." As I walked home after Maariv, I was content and pleased.

Beginning with the Shalom Zachor on Friday night and climaxing with the crowd huddling around him after Shabbos, I was privileged to see a master Rosh Yeshiva at his best. Rav Bender's pristine public persona impacted the entire Shul.

The Bris was on Wednesday, Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan. Rabbi Lampel decided to make the Bris in a smaller Shul in Clifton where they could make a private minyan. Concerned with making the Minyan, Rabbi Lampel asked me to daven with them. Although I rarely daven away from my Shul, I made an exception when I heard they might need help with the Minyan. An added plus was spending more time with my Rebbe/friend, Rav Bender.

I took a seat in the back and enjoyed a rare respite from sitting up front, allowing me to focus on my Siddur and not on the Tzibbur. The heimish, mostly family-attended Minyan ended, and the Mohel proceeded with the Bris. I quickly noticed that, to my surprise, the baby's paternal grandfather, Rav Simcha Blaney, was being honored with Sandek. I was sure Rav Bender, the great-grandfather, would receive the coveted honor of Sandek. However, as I observed Rav Bender in his family's company, without the crowd's fanfare, I realized that I was now witnessing Rav Bender the Zaide. And as the Zaide, he no doubt realized how appreciative his son would be to be Sandek of his first grandson.

Rav Lampel, the baby's other grandfather, is the last person to seek Kavod. He certainly did not mind not receiving Sandek. This was Rav Simcha's first grandson, and Rav Lampel has already been Zocheh to grandchildren.

The normalcy of the entire family and the love which permeated the Bris from all sides was uplifting. Rav Bender was not attending as the Rosh Yeshiva of Darchei Torah, who deserves a seat in the Mizrach. At the Bris, he was the Zaide of the family who wanted his entire family to be b'Simcha.

Were these two different people?

The private family man Rav Bender who shied away from honor and the public Rosh Yeshiva who speaks before thousands?

It was then clarity came upon me. This was one and the same Rav Bender. A man who eschews honor is indeed the man truly worthy of recognition. As I returned to my seat in the back, I realized I learned more about Kavod HaTorah at this Bris than I did over Shabbos when hundreds hovered over the Rosh Yeshiva. In a small Shul with his family, I saw Rav Bender in his humility. It was here I saw true greatness. I saw how love for one's family is paramount to any aspect of Kavod.

And I thought I had seen it all over Shabbos.