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The Short Vort- -“Downsizing” (8/25/10)
The Short Vort
Good Morning!
Today is Wednesday the 15th of Elul 5770 and August 25, 2010
Downsizing
As a rabbi; you know of course that I have a direct line to the Man Upstairs.
I therefore feel compelled to share with you some insider information which I was recently privy to.
Please listen careful as this news can affect every one on the Short Vort mailing list.
We are all too aware of the economic downturn which has affected almost every industry in the country.
We are also keenly aware of the negative impact it has had on the Jewish community.
However, you may not be aware of the following VERIFIED insider news.
I have just received word that this coming year, Hashem has had to make some cuts in his work force.
Indeed, I have inside information based on a source that chooses to remain anonymous, that in the coming year, Hashem is planning on downsizing His American force by over 2,420,000!
This means that each day of the coming year about 6,700 Americans will be eliminated from Hashem’s American division.
Indeed, I have also ascertained that out of these, about 40% are sudden.
This means, that in the coming year, on each day 2,600 Americans will wake up in the morning expecting to live for a long time to come; however, unfortunately for them and for their loves ones, it will be their last day in this world.
Why am I informing all of you of this jolly news?
The answer is simple; I am informing you of this because you can avoid being downsized!
That’s right, I, Ron Yitzchok Eisenman have the secret formula to save yourself from being downsized this year!
And guess what? I am going to give out this priceless information for free!
I ask for nothing in return, chalk it up to my wanting to do a good deed for the day.
Anyway, let’s get to work; the downsizing list is going out on Thursday September 9th!
We have no time to spare.
After September 9th there may be 10 days to appeal your being place on the downsizing list; however, on Saturday night September 18th at about 8 pm, the downsizing office is closed for the year and whoever is on the list is a ‘gonner’.
You may get a severance package and you may be able to continue working for a few months; however, once you are on the downsizing list, it is almost impossible -without protectzia from the Big Boss- to get yourself off the list.
So let’s get moving and let’s make sure that none of us are on the list.
What to do to avoid being downsized:
1) Here is piece of advice from one of the largest self-help business on line sites:
It’s not always within your control to determine whether you are the next one affected in a company’s efforts to trim costs, but there are a host of things you can do to help minimize your presence of your head on the chopping block.
· The jobs that get saved are the ones held by people who seem essential to the ongoing success of the business.
· When firms look to cut staff, troublemakers, slackers and those who don’t seem like team players are the easiest cuts to make.
Friends; that is sound advice; as the same advice holds true for helping yourself from being put on Hashem’s chopping block.
Therefore, if you want to avoid being put on the list on Thursday, September 9th make sure you get yourself a job which makes you essential to the ongoing success of the business!
Hashem ultimately has promised not to eliminate the entire Jewish people; as the passuk in Yirmiyahu (46:28) says:
“You fear not, My servant Jacob, says the Lord, for I am with you, for I will make a full end of all the nations where I have driven you, but of you I will not make a full end, but I will chastise you justly, and I will not completely destroy you.”
Therefore, although, individuals will be eliminated, the community as a whole will never be destroyed.
Obviously, those of us who help Hashem insure the continued existence of the community by serving and being indispensable to the community will most probably avoid being place on ‘the list’.
Ask yourself the following questions in order to gauge your chances of being on or off ‘the list’.
1) Am I an essential, indispensable part of Hashem’s work force?
2) Am I serving the community in a way that Hashem has a vested interest in keeping me off the downsizing list?
3) Do I support community endeavors?
4) Do I fulfill my financial obligations to those Jewish institutions from which I and others benefit from?
5) Do I make sure that I am not a ‘free-loader’ who does not shoulder the financial responsibilities of the community?
6) Do I help spread Hashem’s message in this world?
7) Do I learn and teach Torah to the best of my abilities?
8) Am I involved in Chessed activities to the best of my abilities?
9) Do I give of myself to in order to help Hashem help His people?
10) Do I give Hashem nachas by davening properly and with kavanah?
If you answered eight or more ‘yesses’to the above questions, than you are doing ‘not bad’ and you may indeed be spared from ‘the list’
However, if you answered seven or less ‘yesses’; than I advise you to rethink your daily activities and start generating more ‘yesses’; if you don’t, your name may be on ‘the list’!
Time is of the essence, so get busy and start improving.
Remember, once the list is out there, it’s too late!
Stay tuned tomorrow for more insider tips to avoid ‘the axe’!